Reality

Okay. I did not create this blog to "vent" about my life... or my daughter who won't sleep more than 4-5 hours at night right now... or my husband that , bless his heart, is working 12-14 hour days or anything else that you can somehow love with all your heart yet slightly despise all at the same time. I love my life, but it is in no WAY perfect. I have often wondered if it appears that I only post things that are wonderful and happy as if to always have a "rose-colored" screen on my computer or anyone else's who is reading. There is a blog that I love to read some of you may read as well:

http://www.kellyskornerblog.com

Well, Kelly's post from Tuesday, October 12th ('Honesty') really hit a cord with me. It is as if I dictated to her how I am feeling. Oh my. It just feels so good to hear someone else say they feel the same way... you know, commiserate a little bit? Thankfully what I may see as "the end!" right now are truly just minor bumps in the road... I know that. Just living in reality here on the Owen Range!

This is one of my most favorite chapters... thought it was very fitting for my desire to "ordain" my own days... So thankful I am NOT in control. Amen?

O LORD, you have searched me

and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue

you know it completely, O LORD.

You hem me in—behind and before;

you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them,

they would outnumber the grains of sand.

When I awake,

I am still with you.

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!

Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

They speak of you with evil intent;

your adversaries misuse your name.

Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,

and abhor those who rise up against you?

I have nothing but hatred for them;

I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

See if there is any offensive way in me,

and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139

I hope you are having a great week!